12 months on ….

I miss you everyday, I say good morning to your photo in the kitchen and tell you my fears, dreams and joys every night before I sleep. We sing along to songs you loved in the car and laugh at the funny things you did with us.

You may not be here in body but in our hearts and minds you will never be forgotten. A huge part of our lives and always will be, Phil,my best friend.

You were as stubborn and as opinionated as me and from time to time we disagreed in a BIG way, but you always valued my views and although didn’t agree could let it pass between us. I know you loved listening to the drama/disaster/chaos going on in my life and workplace because it took your mind away from your pains and problems. One of the things I miss most is waking up to a text message telling me what offer you found at Tesco at 3am because you couldn’t sleep.

I know wherever you are everyone around you will be well fed with a smile on their faces.

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Sadness overwhelms

Yesterday I lost my soulmate, the news was unexpected and shocking. My best friend for 26 years, the one person who totally understood me. The shock was overwhelming, I felt like I was drowning, even breathing hurt. Talking with family helped enormously, sharing our stories and happy times. 

Its a strange feeling, he has been ill for many years but someone you expected to go on forever. Someone I could pick up the phone and speak to about anything, at any time day or night. He supported me though some of my worst moments and never wanted or expected anything in return. He picked me up when I was down and always made me smile. A funny guy without trying or really even knowing it. 

A heart of gold, he would help anyone but hated asking for help. It wasn’t always plain sailing, we are both stubborn and quite often butted heads over things, but a few days would pass and the quarrel was soon forgotten. A wonderful photographer who took lovely pictures of my son and I, on some of our days out, memories which we will always treasure. 

He was my rock, my constant and always will be. I will miss our nights out and the plans we had for summer but will always remember the fun times we shared. I don’t think my son will ever forget our week in Blackpool. Breaking the news to him was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. We will remember him fondly and take him with us in our hearts everywhere we go. 

The world has lost a beautiful soul.